Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Be Prepared

KATE: Here, you might find that this comes in handy.
SARAH: I like how you can't touch anything: water, yourself, concrete or the universe. But apparently hopping on one foot like a fucking boyscout is the way to go so that you're safe.
SARAH: Basically, existence is deadly when there's a thunderstorm.
 

Ollie and His Baby Have a Complicated Relationship.

SARAH: Ollie was in a mood last night.
KATE: Isn't he always? 
SARAH: I caught him humping his baby.
KATE: Oh boy. Man. Ollie.
SARAH: and I said "HEY. KEEP IT CLEAN"
SARAH: and he glared.
SARAH: and then I picked him up when he got up the stairs
SARAH: and he wouldn't stop wiggling
KATE: Haha. Wiggle cat.
SARAH: kind of like pigs do, you know?
KATE: Yes.
KATE:  I know exactly what you mean.
SARAH: When you pick them up and they are all oinking and shit
SARAH: and I said "IF YOU FIGHT IT, IT'S ONLY GOING TO BE WORSE"
KATE: That's horrible.
SARAH: I was just holding him.
SARAH: He didn't have to struggle.
KATE:  That's what she said.
SARAH: I was all loving like, petting him and telling him he was a nice baby
SARAH: and he's thrashing around like an asshole.

How Do You Solve a Problem Like Kate?

KATE: I really hope the rest of my life is not going to go this way.
KATE: I'll just join a convent.
SARAH: Please don't.
SARAH: You can't swear there.