Terminal Fun, Part Deux

SARAH: The flight is supposed to leave in 10 minutes.
SARAH: We still haven't boarded.
SARAH: What is going on? My antsy pants are getting worse.
KATE: Bitch, be cool.
KATE: Just think: there is some guy in the airport with no testicles.
SARAH: He's in the air with no testicles now.
SARAH: He and his balls went to Nashville.

Sarah Goes to the Airport, or, Terminal Fun

SARAH: There's a girl here wearing fur-lined boots and a skirt.
SARAH:  She feels that equals pants.
KATE: Oh dear.
SARAH: And she's either going to Toronto or Nashville.
SARAH: Either way, she is dressed inappropriately.
SARAH: And she spent 15 minutes putting on makeup.
SARAH: Using her boyfriend's leg as a table.
SARAH: I hope he checked his balls with his luggage
SARAH:Because otherwise, he might need to buy a pair at the duty-free.
SARAH: Today is going to be one of those days.

Texts from Sarah: Xavier School Edition

8:29am So far they've checked my passport twice
8:29am Like maybe I've changed since I got here.

8:30am Sarah, The Shapeshifter.
8:30am Don't tell.
8:30am If I could shapeshift, I'd totally be someone hotter than me.

Texts from Sarah: Sarah Goes Abroad!

8:23am Pretty sure there are hobos trying to get on this flight.
8:23am Does Canada allow hobos?

8:24am They're either hobos or hipsters.
8:24am That can be the new game!

And I Am So Very Proud.

SARAH: Guess what?
ACHILLES: What?
SARAH: I got a bronze medal in the Special Olympics on Saturday!
ACHILLES: Um, I knew you were tarded, but is that legal?
SARAH: I don't know if it is
SARAH: but B1 and I were a team
SARAH: and we got bronze medals.
ACHILLES: What event?
SARAH: Fishing.
SARAH: I cast the line out myself and caught it.
ACHILLES: I am impressed.
SARAH: BE IMPRESSED I DID IT AND I TOUCHED A GROSS FISH AND PUT MY FINGER IN ITS MOUTH
ACHILLES: Ew.
ACHILLES: Did you then throw it at the judges and shout, "Suck it, bassholes!"
SARAH: No. I'm not you--
SARAH: I know how to act at the Special Olympics.