Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Guess Who's Back, Part IV

SARAH: There are quizzes at the end of the segments.  
SARAH: This one is a word search.  
SARAH: They aren't giving you the words.
SARAH: You have to fill in the blank and then find the word. That is...what. No. 
SARAH: I don't want to play this stupid game anymore, grandma.
SARAH: I just want to find dirty words, like "dicklicker."  
SARAH: Not words like "trust" and "recognition​."
SARAH: I did find the word "queef." I'm done.
KATE: Congratulations. You are now a manager.


Guess Who's Back, Part III


SARAH: Now on to the module about motivation.  
SARAH: They are saying that you need to give your employee the map and tell them the rules but let them get there themselves.  
SARAH: This is the photo of the map included on the slide.  


SARAH: THERE IS A POND WITH A DEAD FISH.

Guess Who's Back, Part II

SARAH: Oh, good, I GET TO TAKE A QUIZ
KATE: You are Mr. Manager.
SARAH: I am.  I am Mr. Manager and I will manage you SO HARD.
SARAH: Talking point on this slide: "Introduce new hire to their accountabilities."
SARAH: Like that's a person.  that you shake hands with.  
SARAH: It's like having a puppy.
SARAH: SOCIALIZE your new hire.  help them ADAPT to the new environment.
SARAH: They are talking about the millennials now.  
SARAH: They can open multiple tabs in Internet Explorer!  
SARAH: They can search for things AND listen to music!  
SARAH: They are highly educated and well informed!  
SARAH: THEY PLAY ANGRY BIRDS.
SARAH: YOU may even be a millenial, they said.  
SARAH: YOU COULD BE ONE TOO. THEY ARE AMONG US

Guess Who's Back, Part I

Editor's note: Sarah's a manager now. 

SARAH: Oh my god, I have to take this stupid management training thing.
SARAH: I can't even explain what's going on here.
SARAH: There's a lot of feedback in the narration--yes, it is narrated--and then there is this weird whistling music in the background.
SARAH: Right now they are defining what a manager is.
SARAH: And there is still elevator music going on.
SARAH: The music is different on every slide and it's making me insane. PICK SOME MUSIC AND GO WITH IT.
SARAH: Last slide of the presentation?
SARAH: "What is a manager?"
SARAH: "YOU ARE A MANAGER."