Cat Pot Calling Cat Kettle Cat Black

SARAH: FLAKY CAT LADY I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND
SARAH: She’s all like “I thought I was crazy because I didn’t see that link on there”
SARAH: LISTEN. YOU ARE CRAZY. LINK OR NOT, YOU ARE CRAZY. YOU HAVE FACEBOOK FOR YOUR CAT
KATE: Doesn't Ollie have a facebook?
KATE: Just saying.
SARAH: Ollie has catbook.  Which is facebook for cats.  There is a difference.  Also, you will notice that I don’t write on my own wall, pretending to be Ollie.  Nor have I updated catbook since I was in college. 
SARAH: But Flaky Cat Lady’s cat? Her cat updates its status. The cat. Updates. Its status.

Sarah Empathizes

Dear Flaky Cat Lady,

No one cares that you are too poor to have a dryer or that all your towels are now wet or that your shower tomorrow might not happen. That is a gross overshare. And no one cares. Especially me. I don’t care the most.

Sarah is Good at Threats, Part II

Flaky cat lady, I don’t care if it’s your birthday. I will bring you full circle and END YOU TODAY if you don’t stop coughing NO ONE IS SICK FOR THIS LONG ARE YOU SECRETLY A DBAG YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE YOUR LEGS WAGON LEGS I SWEAR TO GOD

I just made up a song. It’s called “You’re Going to Lose Your Legs.”

You’re going to lose your legs OHHHHHHHH You’re going to lose your legs! Yes you’re going to lose your leggggggggggggggggs. You are a dbag, YES! You're going to lose your legs!