KATE: I am currently living on Nerd Island.
SARAH: I wonder if they make nerd disinfectant spray.
SARAH: I'm going to have to buy it by the case.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Sarah Plans for the Future
SARAH: And when you're old, all the men are probably dead.
KATE: Can we just focus on the present please?
KATE: Let's find you a man for now. We'll find one.
SARAH: AT THE SENIOR CENTER.
KATE: hahahahahaa
KATE: omg.
KATE: I just snotted on my face.
SARAH: Sexy, Kate.
SARAH: Actually, I bet that would attract men at the senior center.
KATE: You bring out the snot in me.
SARAH: You snot on your face, they drool...
KATE: Oh ew ew ew
SARAH: a new exchange of bodily fluids.
KATE: oh GOD
KATE : that's HORRIBLE.
SARAH: And funny.
SARAH: You know you can't stop laughing.
KATE: Of course.
SARAH: I'm going to go and shake it to the old men in wheelchairs
SARAH: because maybe they are rich
SARAH: and want a nice girl.
KATE: I...
KATE: Speechless.
SARAH: And who cares if I am younger than their children or grandchildren?
SARAH: They just have to love me enough to leave me all their shit in their will.
KATE: Can we just focus on the present please?
KATE: Let's find you a man for now. We'll find one.
SARAH: AT THE SENIOR CENTER.
KATE: hahahahahaa
KATE: omg.
KATE: I just snotted on my face.
SARAH: Sexy, Kate.
SARAH: Actually, I bet that would attract men at the senior center.
KATE: You bring out the snot in me.
SARAH: You snot on your face, they drool...
KATE: Oh ew ew ew
SARAH: a new exchange of bodily fluids.
KATE: oh GOD
KATE : that's HORRIBLE.
SARAH: And funny.
SARAH: You know you can't stop laughing.
KATE: Of course.
SARAH: I'm going to go and shake it to the old men in wheelchairs
SARAH: because maybe they are rich
SARAH: and want a nice girl.
KATE: I...
KATE: Speechless.
SARAH: And who cares if I am younger than their children or grandchildren?
SARAH: They just have to love me enough to leave me all their shit in their will.
Time is Relative.
Kate, I feel like I am very needy for your attention as of late...And by late, I mean in the past 15 minutes.
Lessons in Seduction
SARAH: You should butter your landlord up with cupcakes.
KATE: I can do that.
SARAH: You can. Bat your eyelashes.
KATE: I'm doing it right now.
KATE: bat bat bat
SARAH: Sometimes that makes me dizzy.
KATE: haha
SARAH: I can be coy, but I might fall down.
KATE: I can do that.
SARAH: You can. Bat your eyelashes.
KATE: I'm doing it right now.
KATE: bat bat bat
SARAH: Sometimes that makes me dizzy.
KATE: haha
SARAH: I can be coy, but I might fall down.
Like the World is Not Scary Enough Already
SARAH: I hardly ever do things for evil.
KATE: Oh, hardly EVER.
SARAH: It's not like I've taught Ollie to use a gun...yet.
KATE: That cat does NOT need any more weapons.
SARAH: He would totally use it on me.
SARAH: Like a fucker.
KATE: Oh, hardly EVER.
SARAH: It's not like I've taught Ollie to use a gun...yet.
KATE: That cat does NOT need any more weapons.
SARAH: He would totally use it on me.
SARAH: Like a fucker.
Tweety = Death
SARAH: 2 things:
SARAH: 1: The sun is out and it's kind of summery.
SARAH: 2: If I ever own a tweety bird anything, I want you to kill me.
KATE: You don't have a say in the matter, I'll just do it.
SARAH: Thank the lord.
KATE: You can count on me.
SARAH: 1: The sun is out and it's kind of summery.
SARAH: 2: If I ever own a tweety bird anything, I want you to kill me.
KATE: You don't have a say in the matter, I'll just do it.
SARAH: Thank the lord.
KATE: You can count on me.
Ground Control to Major Sarah
OKAY.
PEOPLE.
I WILL KILL YOU ALL WITH MY HANDS.
When I answer the phone "Good morning, Company X," that's where you are calling. We are not the hospital. If you used the internet to find this number, you can find the number you want there. I want to be like FIND IT YOURSELF. Instead I will leave this woman on hold for a bit while I half-assedly look for the number. If you're going to be an idiot, I can be a bitch.
THOSE ARE THE RULES.
I did keep her on hold for 5 minutes though. It brought me joy...
I am the phone commander.
PEOPLE.
I WILL KILL YOU ALL WITH MY HANDS.
When I answer the phone "Good morning, Company X," that's where you are calling. We are not the hospital. If you used the internet to find this number, you can find the number you want there. I want to be like FIND IT YOURSELF. Instead I will leave this woman on hold for a bit while I half-assedly look for the number. If you're going to be an idiot, I can be a bitch.
THOSE ARE THE RULES.
I did keep her on hold for 5 minutes though. It brought me joy...
I am the phone commander.
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