Introducing: Borat

Borat sent me a text message last night telling me that he hoped I dreamed of unicorns. Man. I wish I dreamed of unicorns. That would be friggin’ awesome.

She's Going to Be Talking About Fish Oil A Lot, You Guys

SARAH: There is a hunger in my belly.  FEED ME, it says. 
SARAH: You wait your damn turn, stomach. 
SARAH: I already gave you Swedish fish and fish oil. What more could you want?
KATE: Please tell me you have eaten something other than Poseidon tears and Swedish fish today.
SARAH: I had some cereal. But the only thing that really matters are Swedish fish and Poseidon tears. 
SARAH: I wonder what’s going on in my tummy, what with such magical shit. 
SARAH: OH MAN, what if the Poseidon tears turned the Swedish fish into REAL FISH? 
SARAH: WOULDN”T THAT BE CRAZY?!?!?!

HINT HINT HINT HINT

SARAH: I need to get brown sugar and then tonight I can make cookies.  Cookies for the new girl at work!!  Except not.
KATE: What are they for?
KATE: Are they Hey Everybody Please Remember My Birthday cookies?
KATE: They should be. You should put a piece of paper inside each cookie that says SARAH'S BIRTHDAY IS LATER THIS MONTH, ASSHAT.
SARAH: Man, that would be so awesome.

Sarah Was Born During the Industrial Fish Revolution

SARAH: I feel like when you make fish oil, you just squeeze a fish really really hard until all the oil comes out.
SARAH: This is your Sarah Thought of the Day.
KATE: What sort of machine does that, do you think? Or is it just some guy with a fish in his hand, squeezing it like a lemon?
SARAH: I don’t know.  Maybe in third-world countries someone squeezes fish by hand. But here, in America, we use a fish squeeze press. 

Like An Easy Button, But for Rage.

SARAH:  I wish I had some sort of buzzer that I could hit when people made me mad.
KATE: You'd never stop.
SARAH: Then people should stop making me mad.

Just Around the Corner from Crazypants

SARAH: We are all sadpants sometimes.
KATE: It's true.
SARAH: Everyone gets a little sad in their pants sometimes.
SARAH: But you change pants
SARAH: And can put happy ones on.
KATE: Sometimes you surpass even Tracy Jordan in your wisdom.
SARAH: Why, thank you!
KATE: I think I am currently wearing happy pants. Or at least well-adjusted pants.
SARAH: Good
SARAH: You can always adjust your pants.
SARAH: But not in public.

How Frosty Is It?

SARAH:  I'm being a frosty ice princess right now.
SARAH: I'm so frosty I can ice my own knee.
SARAH: I'm so frosty, you'd need to wear a winter coat in my room.
SARAH: I'm so frosty that Jack fuckin' Frost looks like the sun.
SARAH: Frosty the goddamn Snowman aint got SHIT on me.
KATE: Sing it.
SARAH: Or snow, for that matter.
SARAH: I'm so frosty that winter needs to go to the southern hemisphere when I'm around.
SARAH: I'm SO frosty that I don't even have to make sense.
KATE: That IS frosty.
KATE: And does it frost your butt?
SARAH: Frosts my butt.
SARAH: And burns my biscuits.
SARAH: And also greases my chassis
SARAH: Which is a personal problem
SARAH: I overshared.