Sunday, September 19, 2010

Texts from Sarah: Airport Security Edition

SARAH: Guess who just got frisked!
SARAH: That's the most action I've gotten in months.
SARAH: I almost wanted to thank her

FB, Are You Listening?

SARAH: Gayyyyyyyyyyyyyy we are super gayyyyyyyyyyy for each other.
SARAH: It’s too bad there isn’t a relationship status on Facebook that is “Totes Gay for Each Other” because if there was, we would be that
KATE: I would rescind my policy of not having a relationship status on Facebook if that were an option.

No, The RHYMING Katetionary

SARAH: Just got an e-mail from Karen: Going to pick up my laptop tonight! And then have dinner and kissy faces!
SARAH: Kate, we are taking over the word universe and winning SO HARD

Do Not Read This Post

SARAH: Don't read this article because it's gross.
SARAH: Just read the headline.
SARAH: Basically it tells you what to do when your arm flies out of your body.
SARAH: CNN felt like this is a topic that they should address because APPARENTLY people are losing their shit left and right

Population: 1

SARAH: I'm sitting at my desk giggling like a crazy person. I’ve snapped. GOODBYE.
SARAH:  (Not leaving work. Just entering Crazytown.)
KATE: Come on, Crackers. It's time for you to go home.
SARAH: Crackers? Like animal crackers? 
SARAH: What kind of crackers? With cheese? 
SARAH: WITH WINE AND CHEESE?
SARAH: Know what I think is going to happen tonight? 
SARAH: Dance party. DANCE PARTY IN THE KITCHEN. EVERYONE GETS A HUMPBACK WHALE

Sarah Plans Her Evening

After work, I am going to go to the grocery store and get things for dinner and then I will come home and maybe I will play with the Wii Fit that can tell me HEY FATTY GET THE HELL OFF YOU ARE BREAKING ME.
 
Thanks, a-hole. I’m going to take out your batteries.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Sarah and Kate are Cake Snobs

KATE: They had a store cake for Karen's birthday and did I have any?
KATE: No, I did not. Even though it was chocolate. 
KATE: You may praise me now.
SARAH: Kate, you and I are stone-cold bitches that no one can fuck with. 
SARAH: No shitty cake for us. 
SARAH: NO SHITTY CAKE