SARAH: I watched the Harry Potter trailer.
SARAH: Made me really happy and then really sad.
SARAH: Because it’s going to be over.
SARAH: And because there’s a giant snake in the damn movie.
SARAH: What am I going to do? I hate snakes.
SARAH: I hate giant ones even more.
SARAH: HOW WILL I WATCH THAT SHIT IN 3D?
SARAH: #firstworldproblems
Thursday, April 28, 2011
I Believe The Technical Term is Shittrombone
SARAH: Starshine just called someone a shittrumpet.
SARAH: I cannot handle my life
SARAH: I cannot handle my life
Sarah's Family Has a New Dog
SARAH: My mom, to Duke this morning: “We’re going to chop your gonads off at 6 months. To the day. YES WE ARE”
SARAH: My mom was very excited to tell Duke he would not have balls anymore.
SARAH: My mom was very excited to tell Duke he would not have balls anymore.
Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring (Banana Face!)
SARAH: Just told one of my coworkers I was going to punch her in the banana face.
KATE: What does that even mean?
SARAH: She was eating a banana. Thus...banana face.
SARAH: Going to get punched there. And it's going to hurt. Or at least I think it will.
SARAH: That’s what happens when you have a banana face.
KATE: What does that even mean?
SARAH: She was eating a banana. Thus...banana face.
SARAH: Going to get punched there. And it's going to hurt. Or at least I think it will.
SARAH: That’s what happens when you have a banana face.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
The Second Rule of Best of Sarah
SARAH: You know, I write you dumb things.
SARAH: And I have the ability to delete them, and sound like I’m sort of not an idiot.
SARAH: But I don't – I apparently like sounding like an idiot.
KATE: It's true. You share your thoughts.
KATE: Which is just one more reason to believe you're a shouty, drunken figment of my imagination.
SARAH: And I have the ability to delete them, and sound like I’m sort of not an idiot.
SARAH: But I don't – I apparently like sounding like an idiot.
KATE: It's true. You share your thoughts.
KATE: Which is just one more reason to believe you're a shouty, drunken figment of my imagination.
The First Rule of Best of Sarah is You Don't Talk About Best of Sarah Except Actually You Do.
SARAH: The Frenemy is so wonderful.
SARAH: I wish I could be as awesome as she is.
KATE: You're a real person, so you're already awesomer.
KATE: I mean, you're mostly a real person.
KATE: I'll be honest. Sometimes I wonder if you are my Tyler Durden.
SARAH: Yes. I am.
SARAH: All those bruises you have? That’s Sarah Tyler Durden, from the fight clubs I have at night.
SARAH: You’re really talking to yourself right now, not another person.
KATE: I KNEW IT.
KATE: Well, we may as well keep it up. I'm rather enjoying it.
SARAH: Totes fucking mcgoats.
SARAH: I am Kate’s sense of AWESOME and I am TINGLING
SARAH: I wish I could be as awesome as she is.
KATE: You're a real person, so you're already awesomer.
KATE: I mean, you're mostly a real person.
KATE: I'll be honest. Sometimes I wonder if you are my Tyler Durden.
SARAH: Yes. I am.
SARAH: All those bruises you have? That’s Sarah Tyler Durden, from the fight clubs I have at night.
SARAH: You’re really talking to yourself right now, not another person.
KATE: I KNEW IT.
KATE: Well, we may as well keep it up. I'm rather enjoying it.
SARAH: Totes fucking mcgoats.
SARAH: I am Kate’s sense of AWESOME and I am TINGLING
Sarah Makes Friends Online
SARAH: I used the phrase “makes my skirt fly up” in an email to the new guy.
SARAH: He continued to talk to me.
SARAH: Low standard of girls or high standard of awesome? You decide.
KATE: Definitely the latter.
KATE: And now you've got him thinking about your skirt flying up.
KATE: And what did you tell the new guy makes your skirt fly up?
SARAH: I told him that I have been looking for a beer that makes my skirt fly up because they don’t sell Yuengling in this state and I love Yuengling.
SARAH: Then he told me that me saying that made his heart and his liver all aflutter.
KATE: Sarah! You were trying the Yuengling trick with a man you haven't even MET YET?
KATE: My god. Salazar Slytherin would be so proud of you.
SARAH: It’s the Yuengling skirt trick. Illegal in 17 states…including this one.
SARAH: BOOYAH
SARAH: This man will totes buy me Yuengling. He works in NY. He likes it too.
SARAH: I’ve got it made in the shade…with a skirt.
SARAH: I TOLD HIM about how Achilles bought me French fries in the middle of the night.
SARAH: I WARNED HIM. I DID. He continues to talk to me.
SARAH: I told him I’m calling him at 4 AM and demanding pizza.
SARAH: He thinks I’m kidding.
SARAH: He continued to talk to me.
SARAH: Low standard of girls or high standard of awesome? You decide.
KATE: Definitely the latter.
KATE: And now you've got him thinking about your skirt flying up.
KATE: And what did you tell the new guy makes your skirt fly up?
SARAH: I told him that I have been looking for a beer that makes my skirt fly up because they don’t sell Yuengling in this state and I love Yuengling.
SARAH: Then he told me that me saying that made his heart and his liver all aflutter.
KATE: Sarah! You were trying the Yuengling trick with a man you haven't even MET YET?
KATE: My god. Salazar Slytherin would be so proud of you.
SARAH: It’s the Yuengling skirt trick. Illegal in 17 states…including this one.
SARAH: BOOYAH
SARAH: This man will totes buy me Yuengling. He works in NY. He likes it too.
SARAH: I’ve got it made in the shade…with a skirt.
SARAH: I TOLD HIM about how Achilles bought me French fries in the middle of the night.
SARAH: I WARNED HIM. I DID. He continues to talk to me.
SARAH: I told him I’m calling him at 4 AM and demanding pizza.
SARAH: He thinks I’m kidding.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)