Sarah is Good at Threats, Part II

Flaky cat lady, I don’t care if it’s your birthday. I will bring you full circle and END YOU TODAY if you don’t stop coughing NO ONE IS SICK FOR THIS LONG ARE YOU SECRETLY A DBAG YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE YOUR LEGS WAGON LEGS I SWEAR TO GOD

I just made up a song. It’s called “You’re Going to Lose Your Legs.”

You’re going to lose your legs OHHHHHHHH You’re going to lose your legs! Yes you’re going to lose your leggggggggggggggggs. You are a dbag, YES! You're going to lose your legs!

Sarah Goes Out for Lunch

Just got back from lunch at my grandma’s house. We sat on the deck and then I had a popsicle. There is no way to eat a popsicle that doesn’t look like a bj. Just saying.

Sarah is Good at Threats

FLAKY CAT LADY YOU SHOULD BE GLAD IT IS THE END OF THE DAY OR I WOULD END YOUR LIFE STOP FUCKING COUGHING JESUS MARY AND DUMBLEDORE

Texts from Sarah: Rush Hour Edition

I need a vanity plate that says HATEU

We Should Not Own Such Large Water Bottles.

Why do we drink so much water? I bet it's because we have diabetes. Or I have diabetes. You're probably just thirsty.

Introducing: Flaky Cat Lady (Sarah Hates All Her Coworkers)

Where the hell is Ollie’s time machine? I need it to make this day over SHUT UP FLAKY CAT LADY

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY AND FULL OF VODKA, FLAKY CAT LADY, PICK UP YOUR FEET WHEN YOU WALK JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH

Sarah Has a Drinking Problem, Part II

I have been amazing today.

Also, I have drank so much water today that I can switch to vodka when I get home. I like my justification of things. I don’t need anyone to try to convince me otherwise. Drinking water all day allows you to drink vodka all night. Or at least until you pass out. One or the other. Something like that.

OMG TIME PLZ TO MOVE FORWARD.