Don't Ask, Don't Tell

SARAH: Borat knows about Best of Sarah but I haven’t sent him the link.  It’s a little...much.
SARAH: Also, all I talk about is drinking, steak and sexy times. 
SARAH: I don’t think that really is all I’m about. 
SARAH: I also like cupcakes. 
SARAH: And glitter. 
SARAH: And goddamn unicorns.
SARAH: And did I mention you?  I LOVE YOU TOTES GAY OVER HERE

She's Got the Snacktime Train Blues

SARAH: I’m thinking it’s snack time. 
SARAH: But considering I almost choked to death yesterday on my snack, it’s a little scary. 
SARAH: But maybe today I have my shit together and I can eat things without dying.
SARAH: Mashed Potato Johnson, play me off!

I'm Pretty Sure He Doesn't Mind

SARAH: Just started tweaking. What the hell is my problem? 
SARAH: SELF. GET A GRIP. DON’T BE A WEIRDO.
SARAH: That didn’t seem to work. 
SARAH: I apologize to the baby jesus for my inability to be a normal human. 
SARAH: Or a unicorn. 
SARAH: Or a cupcake, for that matter.

Because Unicorns...Well. They Make Cupcakes. With Their Butts.

SARAH: Kate, we are so gay that I am very surprised that rainbows don’t follow in our wake.
KATE: Me too. But we aren't unicorns.
KATE: At least I'm not. 
SARAH: You don’t shit cupcakes? 
SARAH: Cause if you did shit cupcakes and you didn’t tell me, our soupsnakery would be over.
SARAH: D-U-N.
KATE: I don't, I don't.
SARAH: Welcome to Shit Sarah Says on Fridays – Birthday Edition.
SARAH: OMG IT IS MY BIRTHDAY

At Least She Realizes This

SARAH: Things I shouldn’t say to anyone that isn’t you:
SARAH: Uhh…everything I just said to you.

Much Better.

SARAH: Yeah, this birthday really is the cat’s pajamas. 
SARAH: I mean, last year was also good. Don’t get me wrong. 
SARAH: You put a lot of effort into that and I was just too much Sally Sadpants to realize it. 
SARAH: But I still had fun.
SARAH: This year, I need freakin’ DotCom to come and sit on me. I’m overstimulated.

Gold Medalists, Right Here

SARAH: I have social special needs – I’m not going to say I’m socially retarded, even though I am. 
SARAH: And I just did. 
SARAH: This is a fact. But you seem to like me anyway.
KATE: You know what? I do like you anyway.
KATE: And look who you're talking to.
KATE: If there were a social special olympics, you and I would definitely be competitors. You could just run down the track yelling everything that pops into your head, and I can contort myself into impossible positions while trying to hide from social activities.
KATE: It'll be great!
SARAH: Can we make that an event for tomorrow night? 
SARAH: We can run around the cul-de-sac shouting things and no one will question us because that’s about what happens normally