SARAH: And then we ventured into Chelsea and the meatpacking district.
SARAH: Which made me think of you.
ACHILLES: I can't believe you said meatpacking to me with a straight face.
SARAH: I didn’t.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
The New Puppy, AKA The Doodie
SARAH: The doodie needs to get trained on the invisible fence.
SARAH: The doodie isn’t smart and makes terrible horrible noises when he gets shocked.
SARAH: I tell doodie that it’s okay when he’s in the middle of the yard.
SARAH: He just shouldn’t go near the sides.
SARAH: Like Operation.
KATE: And I'm sure if you explain it to him that way he'll understand completely.
SARAH: Well, we normally talk about all sorts of profound things over breakfast, except when he’s sleeping or chewing on his nuts. So.
SARAH: It wouldn’t be too far-fetched.
KATE: Sarah, I love you.
SARAH: Happens.
SARAH: The doodie isn’t smart and makes terrible horrible noises when he gets shocked.
SARAH: I tell doodie that it’s okay when he’s in the middle of the yard.
SARAH: He just shouldn’t go near the sides.
SARAH: Like Operation.
KATE: And I'm sure if you explain it to him that way he'll understand completely.
SARAH: Well, we normally talk about all sorts of profound things over breakfast, except when he’s sleeping or chewing on his nuts. So.
SARAH: It wouldn’t be too far-fetched.
KATE: Sarah, I love you.
SARAH: Happens.
The Summer When Dreams Come True (A Letter from Sarah)
Dearest, Most Lovely Starshine,
I hope you are sitting down, because I have the best news ever. As you may know, I'm going to a barbecue in a few weeks with New Manfriend.
And you remember Ugly Baby. Of course you do. That thing probably haunts your dreams.
WELL. The mother of Ugly Baby is friends with the guy who's holding the barbecue. Meaning that maybe, possibly...Ugly Baby may be at this party. And at the risk of breaking all the cameras in the universe, I am going to try to have my picture taken with said Ugly Baby, just so that I can say I did it.
It might be like staring into the sun, but sometimes you need to do things like this.
Love,
Sarah
I hope you are sitting down, because I have the best news ever. As you may know, I'm going to a barbecue in a few weeks with New Manfriend.
And you remember Ugly Baby. Of course you do. That thing probably haunts your dreams.
WELL. The mother of Ugly Baby is friends with the guy who's holding the barbecue. Meaning that maybe, possibly...Ugly Baby may be at this party. And at the risk of breaking all the cameras in the universe, I am going to try to have my picture taken with said Ugly Baby, just so that I can say I did it.
It might be like staring into the sun, but sometimes you need to do things like this.
Love,
Sarah
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Sarah Has a Good Day
SARAH: I love you. I love everything right now.
KATE: Yes, I imagine you do.
KATE: I love you too, dear.
KATE: We're just like Walter and Perry.
KATE: Time has now stopped.
KATE: Come on, Wednesday. You were doing so well.
SARAH: Probably because we’ve weighed down the world with so much gay that it can no longer move.
KATE: Yes, I imagine you do.
KATE: I love you too, dear.
KATE: We're just like Walter and Perry.
KATE: Time has now stopped.
KATE: Come on, Wednesday. You were doing so well.
SARAH: Probably because we’ve weighed down the world with so much gay that it can no longer move.
A Little Extra Barf and Gay
SARAH: I still think of some of your poems as the most beautiful things I’ve ever read.
SARAH: There’s a little extra barf and gay for your life.
KATE: I'm laughing so hard right now i may actually barf.
KATE: That's like bonus barf.
KATE: and thank you.
SARAH: Why do boys date us?
SARAH: We’re clearly so much more into each other.
SARAH: I mean, except each other's parts.
SARAH: There’s a little extra barf and gay for your life.
KATE: I'm laughing so hard right now i may actually barf.
KATE: That's like bonus barf.
KATE: and thank you.
SARAH: Why do boys date us?
SARAH: We’re clearly so much more into each other.
SARAH: I mean, except each other's parts.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Don't Keep Your Recipes Alphabetized and This Won't Happen
SARAH: We are having chicken in a pot tonight for dinner.
SARAH: Tell me something.
SARAH: How does my family exist? I still don’t understand.
SARAH: They are all completely mental.
KATE: Oh NO. Not chicken shit pot!
KATE: Can you do us all a favor? Make sure your mom actually cooks it this time?
KATE: And if not, make sure somebody throws it out?
KATE: ::shudder::
SARAH: No no – not chicken shit pot. Chicken IN a pot.
SARAH: I made it for you once. You liked it. You know, with the orzo?
SARAH: God, no one PLANS chicken shit pot
SARAH: Tell me something.
SARAH: How does my family exist? I still don’t understand.
SARAH: They are all completely mental.
KATE: Oh NO. Not chicken shit pot!
KATE: Can you do us all a favor? Make sure your mom actually cooks it this time?
KATE: And if not, make sure somebody throws it out?
KATE: ::shudder::
SARAH: No no – not chicken shit pot. Chicken IN a pot.
SARAH: I made it for you once. You liked it. You know, with the orzo?
SARAH: God, no one PLANS chicken shit pot
Jiminy Kate Is At It Again
SARAH: You ruin everything.
SARAH: You’re the goddamn Scott Baio to my life.
SARAH: #scottbaioruinseverything
KATE: I'm going to go cry Scott Baio tears now.
KATE: Sob Loblaw lobs sob bomb.
SARAH: You’re the goddamn Scott Baio to my life.
SARAH: #scottbaioruinseverything
KATE: I'm going to go cry Scott Baio tears now.
KATE: Sob Loblaw lobs sob bomb.
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