The Summer When Dreams Come True (A Letter from Sarah)

Dearest, Most Lovely Starshine,

I hope you are sitting down, because I have the best news ever. As you may know, I'm going to a barbecue in a few weeks with New Manfriend.

And you remember Ugly Baby. Of course you do. That thing probably haunts your dreams.

WELL. The mother of Ugly Baby is friends with the guy who's holding the barbecue. Meaning that maybe, possibly...Ugly Baby may be at this party. And at the risk of breaking all the cameras in the universe, I am going to try to have my picture taken with said Ugly Baby, just so that I can say I did it.

It might be like staring into the sun, but sometimes you need to do things like this.


Love,
Sarah

Sarah Rediscovers Ugly Baby

SARAH: It's just so...hideous.
SARAH: I am a bad, bad person.
KATE: Well, that is a seriously ugly baby. That's not your fault. 
KATE:...Looking for photos of it, on the other hand...well. That might be your fault.
KATE: But I appreciate it. And damn, that baby is ugly.
SARAH: I’m only half at fault.  Or a quarter at fault.
SARAH: Or some percentage.
SARAH: She shouldn’t put pictures of the ugly baby on the internet if she doesn’t want anyone to say, "DAMN THAT IS AN UGLY BABY"

Sarah Loves Children

SARAH: OH MY GOD
SARAH: OH LORDY
KATE: What?
SARAH: I found another ugly baby.
SARAH: This one is like, covered in yogurt or something
SARAH: and it's...Kate...there are no words
KATE: I just spit on my desk.
KATE: Thank you.
SARAH: You need a spit guard.
KATE: I do.
SARAH: IT'S ALL CROSSEYED AND COVERED IN YOGURT
KATE: You are going to get me fired.
KATE: I sound like I'm possessed.
SARAH:Dear Everyone I Know -
SARAH:Don't have babies. I will just mock them if they are ugly.
SARAH: Love, Sarah.
SARAH: JESUS CHRIST BABY YOU RUIN EVERYTHING
KATE: They always do.
SARAH: Okay, I am going to go and shout in the shower
SARAH: and hopefully not drown.
SARAH: GODDAMN BABY