Never Forget.

SARAH: So what’s Fancy Lady doing on her date tonight?
SARAH: I want a full update tomorrow.
KATE: Fancy Lady is not feeling Fancy.
KATE: Fancy Lady feels and looks more like Death Warmed Over and Then Hit With a Stick.
SARAH: FANCY LADY. This boy has been thinking about you all week.
SARAH: So you get your hot Death-Warmed-Over ass in gear and go out there and WOW him with how awesome you can continue to be all the time.
SARAH: And KATE.
SARAH: KISSYFACES.
KATE: That is an Olympic-sized pep talk, that is.
SARAH: JESUS, KATE. REMEMBER THE GERMANS. AND PEARL HARBOR.

We Don't Just Coin Phrases. We Dollar Buck Them.

SARAH: The last email from New Guy told me that people in the room next to his are being very shouty and he wants to shank them.
SARAH: #duhwinning
SARAH: #sarahandkatecontrolthelexicon
SARAH: #DUHWINNINGAGAIN
KATE: Wow. And have you introduced him yet to kissyfaces?
SARAH: I haven't told him about kissyfaces. I need to ease him into this shit. SARAH: Although he’s doing pretty well with all the nonsense.
SARAH: Probably because he understands that I’m just about the greatest person that has ever existed and for that reason, I can do no wrong.
SARAH: No, I don’t have a self esteem problem, why do you ask?

That Is One Handsome Melon

SARAH: Eating this honeydew melon.
SARAH: It’s amazing. I want to make out with it. Instead I’m eating it.
SARAH: Which is kind of like the same thing.
SARAH: I’m sure if I say I WANT TO EAT YOU to a manperson, he would say THAT’S THE SAME AS KISSYFACES.
SARAH: But this honeydew really is good. I just crammed a giant piece of it into my mouth.
SARAH: Like the classy-ass lady that I am.

Blame Canada, Part II

SARAH: I will tell you what my issue is.
SARAH: We have 3 programs (let’s call them programs A, B and C) that have been cancelled.
SARAH: So we sent out an email and it says, ‘Hey you damn Canadians, programs A, B, and C have been cancelled. Get rid of the materials. We aren’t doing that shiz.”
SARAH: So Canadian Archnemesis emails me and is all like, “What about program K? What about program R?”
SARAH: And I want to say WHAT DO YOU THINK?
SARAH: YOU TELL ME IF YOU THINK THAT THEY ARE CANCELLED EVEN THOUGH I DIDN’T MENTION THOSE.
KATE: It's ok. It's Friday, it's 3pm, and your week is almost over, and then you will haz Mexican foods and kissyfaces.
KATE: And vodka!
SARAH: I don’t haz Mexican or kissy faces until tomorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooooooow.
KATE: Sarah, I don't haz Mexican or kissyfaces EVER. So shut up.
KATE: You can wait 24 hours.
SARAH: 24 hours is a long-ass time and you know it.
SARAH: Especially when you’re going to explode from HATRED.

No, The RHYMING Katetionary

SARAH: Just got an e-mail from Karen: Going to pick up my laptop tonight! And then have dinner and kissy faces!
SARAH: Kate, we are taking over the word universe and winning SO HARD

The Cute Guy Comes to Clean the Office Aquarium. Sarah Has a Plan.

Maybe you should tell the cute guy that you are part mermaid…and wouldn’t he like to see which part? And then you say WE HAS KISSY FACES and then whoo! Kate has kissy faces.