Sarah Has a Good Day

SARAH: I love you. I love everything right now.
KATE: Yes, I imagine you do.
KATE: I love you too, dear.
KATE: We're just like Walter and Perry.
KATE: Time has now stopped.
KATE: Come on, Wednesday. You were doing so well.
SARAH: Probably because we’ve weighed down the world with so much gay that it can no longer move.

A Little Extra Barf and Gay

SARAH: I still think of some of your poems as the most beautiful things I’ve ever read.
SARAH: There’s a little extra barf and gay for your life.
KATE: I'm laughing so hard right now i may actually barf.
KATE: That's like bonus barf.
KATE: and thank you.
SARAH: Why do boys date us?
SARAH: We’re clearly so much more into each other.
SARAH: I mean, except each other's parts.

Co-Dependent? More Like Awesome-Dependent.

KATE: I mentioned you a few times last night. I did not start shouting about how amazing you are, so I think that was pretty smart of me.
SARAH: It’s kind of hard to resist shouting about you. I have that issue sometimes. 
SARAH: And by sometimes, I mean all the time.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

SARAH: Borat knows about Best of Sarah but I haven’t sent him the link.  It’s a little...much.
SARAH: Also, all I talk about is drinking, steak and sexy times. 
SARAH: I don’t think that really is all I’m about. 
SARAH: I also like cupcakes. 
SARAH: And glitter. 
SARAH: And goddamn unicorns.
SARAH: And did I mention you?  I LOVE YOU TOTES GAY OVER HERE

Because Unicorns...Well. They Make Cupcakes. With Their Butts.

SARAH: Kate, we are so gay that I am very surprised that rainbows don’t follow in our wake.
KATE: Me too. But we aren't unicorns.
KATE: At least I'm not. 
SARAH: You don’t shit cupcakes? 
SARAH: Cause if you did shit cupcakes and you didn’t tell me, our soupsnakery would be over.
SARAH: D-U-N.
KATE: I don't, I don't.
SARAH: Welcome to Shit Sarah Says on Fridays – Birthday Edition.
SARAH: OMG IT IS MY BIRTHDAY

FB, Are You Listening?

SARAH: Gayyyyyyyyyyyyyy we are super gayyyyyyyyyyy for each other.
SARAH: It’s too bad there isn’t a relationship status on Facebook that is “Totes Gay for Each Other” because if there was, we would be that
KATE: I would rescind my policy of not having a relationship status on Facebook if that were an option.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy

Kate. Kate. I love you so bad I want to pee.

I don’t know what those two thoughts have to do with each other, but know this: loving you so much I have to pee is the greatest compliment I can give.

The Chain Gang Don't Take Kindly to All This Talk of Shanking

Think of where I would be if it weren’t for you.  IN PRISON, that is where.

Kate Went on Vacation.

Dear Dublin -

If you do not return Kates to me promptly, I'm going to come over to Ireland and take her back. Do you know why? BECAUSE SHE IS MY SOUPSNAKE AND I WILL NOT SHARE HER. Unless you find someone else for me to have in my life constantly. You know how when a dog takes a toy it's not supposed to have and then you have to bribe it with something else to get the thing that you want back? That's what you're going to have to do.

Wow, worst analogy ever.

Love,
Sarah

Sarah's Huge in Japan

SARAH: I am glad you live with me now, because now you are mine and I don't have to share you.
SARAH: Please imagine me squeezing you and carrying you around like a rag doll, because that's how I see this all happening.
SARAH: Because you are small and I am Godzilla.
KATE: Like Mindy and Buttons
SARAH: Or King Kong
KATE: Or that.
SARAH: Or some other scary large being that destroys most everything.

Introducing Chatty Cathy

KATE: It's not even 9am. Chatty Cathy is on her third gossip call.
KATE: To quote the great Albus Dumbledore: KILL. MEEEEEEEEEEEE.
KATE: Also
KATE: Good morning.
SARAH: Good morning.
KATE: I seriously wish I could drink poison.
KATE: Not that horcrux juice, but real poison.
SARAH: This is a Best of Sarah conversation and I didn't even do anything.
KATE: Merry Christmas.
SARAH Fucking for serious.
KATE: So I have been waking up every few hours for the last few nights.
KATE: It's bull
KATE: And does not make me predisposed to NOT poison myself.
SARAH: I love you.
SARAH: Just when I think I can't love you any more - I love you more.