Texts from Sarah: Rush Hour Edition

I need a vanity plate that says HATEU

Sarah Plans for the Future

SARAH: If I brought my resume down there and no one called me - I was going to set fire to that building.
KATE: That's fair.
SARAH: Oh, I know.
SARAH: Because that would be rude of them.  Not me, but them.
SARAH: And their punishment would be fire.
KATE: That's a good punishment.
KATE: I think it makes a pretty clear point.
SARAH: You wrong me and you suffer by fire.

a short while later

SARAH: I wish my car could shoot fire.  then I could set everything on fire that I needed to
SARAH: And just drive away.
KATE: That would be extremely handy
KATE: And would probably bring about the apocalypse.
SARAH: But I'd have to get really good at backing up
SARAH: Because I can't drive into the fire i'm shooting.
KATE: Now THAT is thinking ahead.
SARAH: OR maybe I could have it come out of my exhaust.  So I would just have to back up to the thing i wanted to set on fire
SARAH: And then drive away, setting it on fire as I go.
KATE: That's smart.
SARAH: Very smart.
SARAH: Man.
SARAH: I wonder how much that would cost
SARAH: To install flame throwers in my exhaust pipe.
SARAH: It would be best for everyone if I could just burn whoever pissed me off
SARAH: Then I would be done with it and not carry my anger around with me.
KATE: Nope. You'd just carry fire instead.
SARAH: Well, that's a better alternative.
KATE: I completely agree.
SARAH: Oh man, I could so show those fucking neighborhood kids who is in charge.
SARAH: (and it's motherfucking me. With my flamethrower car.)
KATE: No more MarioKart for you.
SARAH: OH MAN, do you know what would be even better?!?!
KATE: I do not.
SARAH: If I had a remote so I could operate the flame thrower from somewhere else. Like inside our house.
KATE: Isn't that what Dr. Horrible did?
SARAH: I don't know, I have't watched the whole thing.
SARAH: But I would totes do Dr. Horrible, even if he's kinda gay.
KATE: Whatever. If he's game, I'm game.
SARAH: And guess what? If he doesn't want to play along, he's getting set on fire.
KATE: I think that might be rape, honey.
SARAH: No, that would be me setting him on fire.
SARAH: If he doesn't want to have sex with me, fine. But then I torch him.
SARAH: And he'll really be flaming.
KATE: You're an evil, evil person.
SARAH: It's true.
SARAH: This is a very special moment we're having.

Sarah and the Hamburgers of Hatred

SARAH: So I'm thinking of all the things that we might be having for dinner tonight, and $5 says it's hot dogs and hamburgers, because that's the default food in my house. When my mom doesn't know what to make, that's what she makes. Not pasta. Not something logical. F***ing hotdogs and hamburgers.
SARAH: and it makes me SO MAD
SARAH: and for that reason, cookouts make me annoyed.
KATE: Why does it make you mad?
SARAH: Well, to make hot dogs and hamburgers, you have to go to the store and get rolls.
SARAH: like...if you're going GET SOMETHING TO EAT...
SARAH: Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
KATE: I would just like you to know
KATE: That in my head what you're typing is being read by Lewis Black.
SARAH: YESSSSSSSSS
KATE: Lots of fist-waving.
SARAH: I don't think it's good for anyone to eat that much processed meat.
SARAH: But it doesn't bother anyone,
SARAH: except me.
SARAH: And I'm like F***ING GODDAMN HOTDOGS
SARAH: I DON'T WANT TO EAT THESE
SARAH: but...if I go out, I'll have a hamburger.
SARAH: I just don't want it to come from my house.
KATE: Those are the hamburgers of hatred.
SARAH: Okay, time to go home!
SARAH: Where there will hopefully not be hot dogs and hamburgers
SARAH: because otherwise, sh** is getting broken.