The Legend of Sarah and the Nasty-Ass Smell

Are you ready for the story of....Sarah and B2 and the Case of the Nasty-Ass Smell in My House OMG Where is it Coming From? (Kind of imagine this is like Are You Afraid of the Dark, and i threw that dust into the fire that makes it get all smoky and dramatic-like.)

Okay, so I came home last night and the house smelled TERRIBLE. It smelled like something had vomited and died. Yes, it was that bad. And my dad had no idea where the smell was coming from, and B2 had no idea. So my dad told B2 to wash out the garbage can, thinking maybe the smell was coming from there.

It wasn't.

So B2 asks my dad again where the smell is coming from. My dad tells us that he knows but we have to guess. So we start shouting out things - ONIONS! POTATOES! STRAWBERRIES! THAT WEIRD FIRE HYDRANT THING WE PUT COMPOST IN! THE FRUIT IN THE BASKET! OLLIE!

Nope, none of those things.

So...We had chicken on sunday night, like a whole roast chicken. We put it on a beer can and you put it on the grill and nom nom nom it is so good. So in the chicken come gizzards or whatever that s*** is? Well, my mom takes the gizzards out and does god knows what with them. We were going to have the chicken on Saturday night, but we ended up going out to dinner and we didn't have the chicken until Sunday. So the chicken gizzards sat on a pot on the stove from Saturday morning until last night... which explains the smell.

We are dying.

My dad says that we have to take the gizzards down to the compost or something and I said that I would do it as long as B2 had the assist (there were other things that needed to go as well). So I grab the gross chicken pot without looking at it and I go outside and I'm like "B2, OPEN THE GATE TO THE DECK SO I CAN GET RID OF THIS" and he's refusing because the smell is so bad and I'm begging him to do so and so I turned around with the chicken s*** pot and he's like "STOP TWIRLING LIKE A BALLERINA YOU ARE MAKING THIS WORSE"

He finally opens the gate and I start going down in the backyard and Jack starts following me and (I'm getting a little queasy thinking about this) I go to dump the chicken s*** out and it's stuck in the pot and THE CHICKEN S*** JUICE GETS ON MY HAND so I scream and drop it and run and now the chicken s*** smells is everywhere and WE ARE OUTSIDE and we're gagging and I tried to run away from the smell and it was following me and then Jack was eating the chicken s*** and I had to go and get the pot but it was in the bushes and GOD IT SMELLED SO BAD and I would start dry heaving whenever I got near the pot and then I finally got it.

So we went back up to the house and I left the pot on the deck to punish it for being nasty-ass. But my dad said we had to wash it. So i brought it in and covered it with soap and my dad washed it AND THE HOUSE STILL SMELLED LIKE CHICKEN S*** FROM A POT and then my mom came home because OF COURSE she was out at dinner. And we shouted at her about the chicken s*** in the pot.