Snake Oil is for Amateurs

KATE: I'm having an awful day.
KATE: And I'm covered in hives.
STARSHINE: Drink some water!
SARAH: Starshine knows what’s up. 
SARAH: And that is: drink all the water and then you can cure all your pains.
SARAH: We should sell bottled water as a miracle cure. 
SARAH: I bet it would work, too. We could be traveling medicine ladies and we could both tell everyone how water has fixed us. 
SARAH: Well, maybe you shouldn’t talk now because you have hives. 
SARAH: But I could say that water healed me.
KATE: Genius. It can be the Starshine-Sarah-Kate traveling medicine show.
KATE: With a soundtrack by the Full-Out Criers.
SARAH: We are going to make like, a million dollars.
SARAH: Can we travel around in a wagon with panels that come down when you pull on a rope? I feel that is only appropriate.
KATE: Absolutely. And we need top hats, and sticks, because you can't have a medicine show without gesturing and hitting things with your walking stick.
KATE: What'll we call it?
SARAH: I don’t know. We will figure it out. We need to make a website like, stat.
SARAH: And maybe if we’re REALLY good, we can have an infomercial where I can just say “BUY THIS MIRACLE WATER IT WILL CURE EVERYTHING INCLUDING PREGNANCY I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW THAT WOULD WORK”
SARAH: Hmm…what should we call the magical miracle water?
KATE: Unicorn Juice.
SARAH: YES ABSOLUTELY YES
KATE: Unicorn Juice. Coming soon to a fairground and/or Target parking lot near you.