SARAH: The last email from New Guy told me that people in the room next to his are being very shouty and he wants to shank them.
SARAH: #duhwinning
SARAH: #sarahandkatecontrolthelexicon
SARAH: #DUHWINNINGAGAIN
KATE: Wow. And have you introduced him yet to kissyfaces?
SARAH: I haven't told him about kissyfaces. I need to ease him into this shit. SARAH: Although he’s doing pretty well with all the nonsense.
SARAH: Probably because he understands that I’m just about the greatest person that has ever existed and for that reason, I can do no wrong.
SARAH: No, I don’t have a self esteem problem, why do you ask?
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Sarah Has a Date Tonight
KATE: Craving: tortilla chips and Skittles.
KATE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
SARAH: NOW I WANT IT TOO
SARAH: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
SARAH: Even better? NACHOS
SARAH: I will go to dinner and say NACHOS BRING ME NACHOS
SARAH: And that will be the end of the second date.
KATE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
SARAH: NOW I WANT IT TOO
SARAH: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
SARAH: Even better? NACHOS
SARAH: I will go to dinner and say NACHOS BRING ME NACHOS
SARAH: And that will be the end of the second date.
Duke Is a Special Dog (And You Know What Kind of Special I Mean)
SARAH: I have bruises allllllllllllll over my legs.
SARAH: ALL OVER. From Duke biting me. Like a jerkface.
SARAH: He does this thing now when he’s mad at me that he bows down and makes terrible noises like he’s talking to me.
SARAH: Then he rockets off the couch and tries to knock me down.
SARAH: He only does it with me. I don’t know why he picks on me.
SARAH: Also, when he gets something in his mouth, he prances around with it like “YES LOOK AT ME LOOK WHAT I HAVE”
SARAH: ALL OVER. From Duke biting me. Like a jerkface.
SARAH: He does this thing now when he’s mad at me that he bows down and makes terrible noises like he’s talking to me.
SARAH: Then he rockets off the couch and tries to knock me down.
SARAH: He only does it with me. I don’t know why he picks on me.
SARAH: Also, when he gets something in his mouth, he prances around with it like “YES LOOK AT ME LOOK WHAT I HAVE”
Web M(agical)D(octor)
SARAH: Kates, I would love to shank someone in order to go home and keep on reading Harry Potter.
SARAH: I meant to watch how the states got their shapes last night…and instead I read Harry Potter. I’ve got a problem.
SARAH: A Harry Potter problem.
SARAH: That actually does sound like something you would see a doctor about.
SARAH: Doctor, my potter is very harry. Please help
KATE: Just made a horrible choking noise while reading that.
SARAH: I meant to watch how the states got their shapes last night…and instead I read Harry Potter. I’ve got a problem.
SARAH: A Harry Potter problem.
SARAH: That actually does sound like something you would see a doctor about.
SARAH: Doctor, my potter is very harry. Please help
KATE: Just made a horrible choking noise while reading that.
Everybody Wants a Piece of the Unicorn Action.
SARAH: THAT IS COPYRIGHT INFRINGMENT.
SARAH: THOSE BITCHES.
SARAH: BITCH PIGEONS, ALL OF THEM.
We've Started Naming Her Personalities.
SARAH: I like that a separate, even more evil part of me takes over at times.
SARAH: And that part of me cannot be TAMED, MILEY
KATE: Do you have a good side?
SARAH: I guess the good side of me volunteers for shit and loves a few people.
SARAH: She pops up every now and again.
SARAH: She’s like the Groundhog of Goodness--comes out, does some good and then it’s 6 more weeks of evil.
SARAH: And that part of me cannot be TAMED, MILEY
KATE: Do you have a good side?
SARAH: I guess the good side of me volunteers for shit and loves a few people.
SARAH: She pops up every now and again.
SARAH: She’s like the Groundhog of Goodness--comes out, does some good and then it’s 6 more weeks of evil.
Rubble Rouser
SARAH: I have a feeling that I might destroy this new guy's life.
SARAH: He might be too nice.
SARAH: Don’t be that way, New Guy.
SARAH: I like how when a guy is nice, I lose control over myself and I just run around like Godzilla in people’s emotional cities.
SARAH: Godzilla Sarah comes into your brain, finds your feelings and smashes them.
SARAH: And then demands rewards for doing such things.
SARAH: I had a better explanation for that, but I have to pee again and I really don’t want to…so I forgot what I wanted to say.
SARAH: He might be too nice.
SARAH: Don’t be that way, New Guy.
SARAH: I like how when a guy is nice, I lose control over myself and I just run around like Godzilla in people’s emotional cities.
SARAH: Godzilla Sarah comes into your brain, finds your feelings and smashes them.
SARAH: And then demands rewards for doing such things.
SARAH: I had a better explanation for that, but I have to pee again and I really don’t want to…so I forgot what I wanted to say.
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