All Sarah, All the Time

SARAH: Okay, if I don't have a job by August, I'm going to apply to be on the Real World.
SARAH: That's the only choice.
KATE: Obviously.
SARAH: Dude, I would RULE on that show.
SARAH: Man, they all hate each other. And say nasty things about each other. And I am a PRO at that shit.
KATE: You sure are.
KATE: Though it would quickly become The Sarah Show.
SARAH: And then they would pay me lots of money.
KATE: And then there would be a spinoff.
KATE: I Love Sarah.
SARAH: And I wouldn't need a job because then being AWESOME would be my job.
KATE: This is all going to happen.
KATE: I can just feel it.
SARAH: YES and then they would bring men on that think that they love me and I will destroy them.
SARAH: And then there will be another spinoff called Sarah Destroys Lives.
KATE: They should all be called that.
KATE: You can just number them.
KATE: SDL 1
KATE: SDL 2
KATE: SDL: THE REVENGE OF SARAH
SARAH: I can go back and destroy again.
KATE: Brilliant.
KATE: You can start with that tick that gave you lyme.
KATE: Because he deserves to be destroyed twice.
SARAH: We will find his fucking family
SARAH: And end them
KATE: All 4,000,000,000 of them?
SARAH: YES
KATE: Longest death list ever.
SARAH: I think you have to be on the show. You have to remind me who I need to exact my revenge on.
KATE: You could just keep a notebook, that would probably do the same thing.
SARAH: Okay, MTV is looking to cast a show about people that are BFF with their moms
SARAH: I could be on one about people wanting to kill their mothers.
KATE: It's true.
KATE: That would be a show on Lifetime.
SARAH: It would be "Snapped."
SARAH: It's about women that snap and kill people.
KATE: Sounds good. And maybe on that show they will give you rocket boosters for your car and a flame thrower and bumpers.
KATE: And a fist on a stick like the mayor had.
SARAH: OH MAN
SARAH: No one would ignore my phone calls again.
KATE: All your dreams will come true.
SARAH: Yes, they would. And yours too.
SARAH: It wouldn't be United Breaks Guitars, it would be SARAH BREAKS YOUR SHIT WHEN YOU DESERVE IT, MOTHERFUCKER
KATE: That would be all the time, right?
SARAH: ...maybe
KATE: You might need your own channel, dude.
SARAH: I need to have an element of surprise.
KATE: This is a lot of hours of programming.
SARAH: Fuck yeah I need my own channel.
SARAH: All Sarah, all the time
SARAH: Your life is my channel.
KATE: It's true.
KATE: We're supposed to get snow on the 27th. We don't have a forecast for the 28th yet. If it is snowing when I am leaving for Ireland I will need you to collect your weapons and meet me at Mount Olympus so I can beat Zeus up.
SARAH: Dude, they are so guessing about the 27th.
SARAH: They can't even be a little bit right about what happens.
KATE: I really don't want to have to lay the smackdown.
SARAH: Remain positive. It's not going to snow.
SARAH: Bitch please. Zeus won't know what hit him.
SARAH: But I'll give you a hint - it's my fist.