The Pits of Freedom Saga: The Second Solution, Continued

SARAH: SWEET DUMBLEDORE ARMPITS, WHY?
SARAH: WHY ARE YOU THIS WAY? STOP BURNING
SARAH: If this wasn't burny, it would be fucking hysterical.
SARAH: I don't know what sort of naplam shit I put in my armpits, but it had better be doing sometihng magical in there.
SARAH: Fucking Unicorn Juice or something.
KATE: Unicorn Juice would NEVER do this to you.
SARAH: It's even better than Unicorn Juice
SARAH: It's unicorn tears
SARAH: Angry, hateful tears
SARAH: Which is why they burn.
KATE: I see. That makes sense.

A few minutes pass.

SARAH: Oh...I just smacked myself in the armpit.
SARAH: That kind of felt good.
KATE: Do not start hitting yourself.
KATE: That is not medicine.
KATE: Do you hear me?
SARAH: But it makes it better.
SARAH: It makes the burny stop.
SARAH: It's not hard.
SARAH: Just a light slap in the armpit.
SARAH: God, what is wrong with me?
SARAH: What has happened?!
KATE: The prescription for your problem has happened.
SARAH: FUCKING GLANDS
SARAH: TURNED ME INTO A SAVAGE
KATE: I feel a Dethklok song coming on.
KATE: DethGlands
KATE: Or Pit of Fury.