A little background: So it turns out Indiana Jones the Archaeologist has a part time job and is sometimes Indiana Jones the Bartender. This is how Sarah and Indy originally met. The following is a true story.
SARAH: Whoa. Check out this advice column:
How do you hook up with a bartender in a "happily ever after" kind of a way without running the risk of being forcibly ejected from the bar? I mean, the normal signs of mutual-like are there...but isn't it different with a bartender? Isn't he paid to be nice to me? But he remembers my name, my drink, that I don't like cherries, always comes over to talk to me....maybe I'm just an alcoholic who just tips well??? ~ Hannah-Lane
Bartenders are not allowed to sleep with you. It’s like hobo-code except instead of hobos they’re bartenders so it’s kind of a different code completely. But basically bartenders can't sleep with you because they got you drunk and it’s a conflict of interest or statutory rape or something. I don’t know. I don’t know bartender code that well. But here are the basic points I know: If he gives you free drinks he probably likes you. If he sleeps with you, you just got engaged. If he tries to renege after sleeping with you he owes you a pony. This is the bartender code.
KATE: Nice.
SARAH: Now he owes me a pony?
KATE: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
SARAH: I WANT A PONY, INDIANA JONES THE BARTENDER
SARAH: YOU CAN'T DIG THAT OUT OF THE GROUND
KATE: Maybe one of those terra cotta Chinese ones?
KATE: like the soldiers. There was always a horse or two.
SARAH: NO, I want a real one.
SARAH: REAL PONY, KATE.
KATE: But you can dig those out of the ground!
SARAH: I will not like his fake pony gift.
SARAH: I will throw it at him
SARAH: and demand beer.
KATE: They're life-size, you know.
SARAH: It's not real.
SARAH: I want to have a REAL pony.
SARAH: It can live on our deck.
KATE: I'm just saying you might have some trouble throwing it.
SARAH: And I can take it for walks.
KATE: You have it all planned out, hmm?
KATE: And where will it use the restroom?
SARAH: It will back its butt up to the slats on the deck
SARAH: and you know...make it work or whatever.
KATE: So it will poop on our lawn?
SARAH: We wouldn't have to mow the lawn! That's why we would get a pony!
KATE: I don't want a lawn of pony shit, Sarah.
SARAH: Aren't you just so snooty about that?
SARAH: Listen, PRINCESS, you'll get a pony shit lawn and like it.
KATE: What if I don't like it?
KATE: What if I want a terra cotta pony instead?
SARAH: Then you can get some sort of pony shit lawn cleaning device
KATE: No, YOU can.
SARAH: NO YOU.
KATE: It's your damn pony.
KATE: I am so mad at Indiana Jones for giving you a pony.
SARAH: It's what happens when bartenders are a-holes.
SARAH: GODDAMN IT INDY.
SARAH: I'm breaking up with him*.
SARAH: It's final.
KATE: Good.
KATE: Give him back his pony.
SARAH: I don't care what he says, I'm not taking him back.
KATE: Isn't that how the song goes? "Give me my pony back, you bitch"?
*To clarify: They never went out.
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